


Call Me, Beep Me, If You Wanna Reach Me

by YuugiMuffin



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! - All Media Types, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Crack, It's kind of cute but also so fucking stupid, M/M, Prideshipping, i guess??, school fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:55:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22207462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuugiMuffin/pseuds/YuugiMuffin
Summary: Seto Kaiba needs a nap, and Yugi needs to stop flirting with him. Or… maybe don’t stop?Rated M to be safe but all that happens is they curse, they kiss, they make naughty jokes.
Relationships: Kaiba Seto & Yami Yuugi, Kaiba Seto/Yami Yuugi
Comments: 16
Kudos: 46





	Call Me, Beep Me, If You Wanna Reach Me

**Author's Note:**

> this isnt a fanfic its a fuckin mess
> 
> I mostly only wrote it to get myself back into the swing of... writing. I haven't properly written fanfiction in, like, two years, but I want to get back to it, so... crack fics!  
> Good luck pals

Seto stumbles out of the bathroom looking thoroughly wrecked, and outright snarls at any of the students who have the courage to stare at him in blatant shock. He straightens himself, adjusts his uniform, tousles his hair until it’s reasonably smooth once more, and stalks down the hallway. He can still feel their gazes on his back, but rolls his shoulders in mock confidence and storms to the computer lab. Hopefully, nobody can tell he’s embarrassed.

And fuck, he is  _ so _ embarrassed, though he’d never,  _ ever _ , admit it. But how could he admit it, anyway? How do you say “My three foot nothing card-game rival grabbed me by the hair and almost slammed my face into the sink because I bullied him,” without looking like the most foolish person in the world? And Seto Kaiba is no damn fool.

Except his three foot nothing card-game rival grabbed him by the hair and almost slammed his face into the sink five minutes prior so maybe he’s a little bit of an idiot.

Seto feels a rush of unwanted shame rise up his throat, and he forces it to stay below his collar, invisible but undeniably there. Damn Yugi! Damn him, damn his spiky hair, damn his Duel Monsters skills, and  _ especially _ damn his stupid second personality. Not for the first time, he considers having a shrink drag Yugi out of school and cart him away to…. Well, away. He needs the stress like he needs another coma, and with Yugi around those things come arm in arm.

His hand is on his phone before he reminds himself that Yugi’s split personality is the only reason for  _ his own _ sanity (or Yugi’s split personality is the perfect host for Seto’s prideful, obsessive tendency to fight bitches without getting arrested for assault, either is fine), and he needs the shrimp around if only because he’s selfish.

Damn.

As his favorite computer (the one in the farthest corner of the room, which is the only one that has a Kaiba Corp logo and is locked for anyone else who tries to use it) hums to life, Seto gives himself time to think about what the hell had just happened in the bathroom. What had he said that had caused such a violent, instantaneous reaction? 

“ _ Duel me” _ ? No, he says that at least three times a week and  _ Yugi _ has never tried to hit him - The mutt and the other one are more prone to brutality, but not Yugi. 

_“I can beat you this time, I have the perfect strategy, stop being such a bitch and answer me”_? While a little rude (okay, very rude), it’s not exactly news that Seto likes his curse words and he hadn’t _meant_ _it_ in a rude way. Plus Yugi had time between his statement and the next to wash his hands and grab a paper towel, so it must have been-

_ “What could possibly be more important than dueling? It’d give your mental illness a chance to ogle me like it usually does.” _

Yeah, okay, that one was also kind of mean, but it isn’t the first time someone has made a comment like that- Hell, it isn’t the first time  _ Seto _ has made a comment like that. But it certainly is the first time it’s caused such a reaction. His jaw still stings from where the Split Personality had grabbed it.

If he’s honest, Seto thought that Yugi was going to kiss him, and he isn’t  _ particularly _ fond of that train of thought, but maybe it’s better than the forming bruise, the tangled hair, and the hissed words he doesn’t even actually remember.

Shit.

What had Not-Yugi said? Seto clicks around aimlessly on the computer, searching his brain for the answer as he opens a hidden file that contains Yugi’s phone data. Hm, recent texts to the group chat… 

_ Okay, fuck you, Yugi, Other-You did not  _ go off _ on me _ . What does that even mean? He scowls as Mazaki asks for ‘the tea,’ but at least he doesn’t have to keep wondering.

_ “Lmao ok so kaiba did his usual “im flirting with you but also im being mean lolol troll face” dumb whatever thing, but  _ mi hitori no boku _ totally hadoukened him it was kind of iconic. And then they like?? almost made out which was WEIRD but kind of hot anyway he was like “yo quit being a dick to aibou abt my crush on u i dont even like u or whatever (hair flip) also yugi is busy with ryou so no we’re not dueling get your rocks off somewhere else” and i was like????? wait i have plans with ryou?? and now hes sulking and kaiba’s probly in the computer room also sulking and sjkskkf i left the bathroom and everyone was giving me this “did u just fuck kaiba” face it was so hard not to laugh bc how do you even DEAL with something like this i hate fdjdfkfkd this school!!! anyway how r yall” _

That’s… a lot to unpack. Seto’s frown deepens. Flirting? No. ‘Hadoukened’? Also no. Caught by surprise enough to hit the floor? Maybe, but in his defense, he’s only had two cups of coffee today, instead of the usual four. And that next line, about ‘my crush.’ Did that mean Not-Yugi  _ did _ have feelings for him? Ew.

Seto closes the window. He can’t -he  _ really _ can’t- be bothered to finish sorting through the rest of it. Maybe Yugi is just a mess and his mental illness (which is definitely giving Seto some mental issues of his own- On top of the ones he already has but doesn’t want to admit to! Damn him.) is also a mess. And maybe Seto should drop out. He’s not learning anything anyway, right? Nothing that he didn’t learn three years ago except that even the shortest man can look good with leather if he kicks your ass at card games enough times.

Wait, what? Oh  _ HELL _ no. 

The chair shoves away from the desk, Seto turns the computer off, and he stalks towards the cafeteria, ringing Isono as he goes. Coffee. Please. Lots of it. Too much of it. He’ll only be satisfied when his heart beats loudly enough to drown out his stupid, sexually frustrated thoughts.

“Hey Kaiba.” Jounouchi’s voice cuts through Seto’s angry, impatient mumbling, “How’s your face? Yugi didn’t hit you too hard, did he?”

The (obviously fake) concern in the mutt’s voice is laced with mocking venom, and it takes entirely too much willpower to not show him exactly how hard someone can hit. But he’s dealt with too much drama today and lunch is almost over so he ignores Yugi’s stupid friend (Oh joy, the others are here now, too! Now they can  _ all _ tease him about getting man-handled by the human version of Baby Yoda.) and waits for the limo to arrive with his drinks.

“Don’t be rude, Jou!” Yugi’s shrill voice scolds, and Seto can’t help but scowl even as he pointedly ignores the dweebs that crowd around the table he claimed for himself when high school started.

Otogi’s finger prods at his jaw, “Damn, did you really hit him? His face is swelling up already!” The man grabs his jaw (and it fucking aches- Damn, does Not-Yugi take steroids or something?) and tilts his face to inspect the finger-shaped bruises.

And that’s about all Seto can handle.

He stands up and towers over them in all of his menacing, richer and smarter and  _ better than you _ , six-foot-one-inch glory, “If one more of you losers touch me, you will be buried in unmarked graves in Russia.” He hisses.

And then his phone rings, and he has an excuse to leave. Instead of grabbing his coffee and returning to class or the computer room or anywhere that  _ isn’t _ the cafeteria, Seto climbs into the vehicle and tells the driver to take him home.

He can’t handle the dorks for one more second, or he might go through with his threats.

-

Thursday is better, but only because it’s almost the weekend, and because he actually got some sleep last night. (Three whole hours! Three! It’s a god-damned record.) Even so, Seto’s ever-present frown marrs his face, deepening as the dork squad (most of them, anyway) walks into the maths classroom. Yugi’s desk is two away from his, close enough to eavesdrop but not close enough to be dragged into dealing with them unless he wants to.

Seto busies himself with his phone as they and the rest of the students pile into their seats, everyone mumbling about the early hour, even though it’s nine in the morning and any normal person would have been properly awake at least half an hour ago. At least, that’s what his therapist praises him for. Not that he has a therapist, or anything. 

He sips his coffee and plots out a backup strategy in case Yugi gets the upper hand in their next duel. The teacher tells them she’s hungover and to do yesterday’s homework on their own while she naps, and the room falls into a quiet sort of chaos. Ah, the buzz of study hall. What a perfect time to stalk Yugi’s social media.

…

Seto quickly texts his therapist about making an appointment.

He’s focused on his phone, but his name (from two seats over, of course) catches his attention, and he pretends to continue texting as he listens to the dog talk.

“Aw come on, Yug, he’s dealt with worse things than a little hair pulling.” A snicker interrupts, but he’s quickly back on track, “Please talk to him? I gotta get my grades up.”

“I can tutor you.” Bakura offers, and Seto looks up just in time to see his nose twitch like a rabbit’s before his face contorts, “Actually, no I can’t.”

“Why the sudden change of heart?” Yugi asks, and the little group bursts into giggles, with the exception of Bakura himself.

“I suddenly decided that I don’t actually want to.”

And then he leaves the classroom.

Damn, why does everyone he knows have fucking MPD?

“Poor Ryou.” Honda comments.

Yugi nods in agreement, looking rather sad, and Seto doesn’t like that expression. Normally, when Yugi looks sad, someone is in a coma, or will be.

“Hey moneybags, you’re drooling.” Jounouchi says, loud enough that most of the class turns to stare.

Seto gives a long, slow blink, “No, I’m not.” He answers after a moment.

“What are you looking at?” Honda says, grinning like a cat with a mouse between it’s claws.

“I’m just wondering what mental illness you have. Bakura and Yugi have multiple personalities, Ototgi is an addict, Jounouchi is just plain stupid. What’s your issue?” Seto sighs and shakes his head, “There’s certainly something, but I don’t actually care enough about it to continue wondering. Oh well.”

He looks back at his phone, ignoring the way everyone snickers and trying not to smirk at the embarrassed squabbling from the geek group.

“Mr. Kaiba, please don’t bully your peers.” The teacher sighs from the front of the room.

He gives a grunt that means “I make no promises,” and checks Yugi’s group chat.

_ “Kaiba was like totally listening to us omg thats embarrassing i h8 him anyway jou if u ask mai out and screenshot it i’ll ask him to help with the homework lmao ur move bitch.” _

Jounouchi’s equally eloquent reply consists of  _ “sike bich i actually just want yami to spend time rich boy i can do the homework on my ownnnnnn” _

And then Yugi sends  _ “ur a fkn liar we’re all failing and we both know it ur just scared of mai but its ok bc i am too shes so cute wtf i want her to push me off a cliff djskdfjkjs” _ and Seto can’t stomach any more. He closes the chat and opens his emails to deal with asshole businessmen because that’s somehow more tolerable than highschoolers.

The time for classes to switch comes after what feels like minutes, and Seto kind of wishes it hadn’t, but PE isn’t  _ terrible _ . At the very least, it’s a decent way to get pent up frustration out. And boy, does he have a lot of pent up frustration. 

He pretends the football is Jounouchi’s stupid face as he kicks it across the field. It flies over Yugi’s short, equally stupid head and his team cheers as he scores a goal. His brain already calculates the different angle and kicking strength needed to launch the thing  _ just a teeny bit _ lower so it smacks into Yugi’s face and then his mental illness will wake up and maybe it’ll grab his hair aga-

_ What the fuck. _

Seto stalks away from the grass field, ignoring the protests from his former teammates, and heads for the computer room. He probably has emails to focus on. Or something. Fuck Yugi. But like, not like that.

Damn it! He needs to… get laid or something. Ugh.

He’s Seto Kaiba! He owns a fucking gaming company. He’s too rich for his own good! Yugi can stuff it. He doesn’t need Yugi.

Except to duel, of course. That’s very important. 

Mm, dueling… Blue Eyes… Hey wait, Seto Kaiba doesn’t daydream! Damn it, get to work…

But dueling. Dueling Yugi… Hn.

Oh fuck.

“Oh fuck.”

_ I totally have feelings for Yugi. _

Ew.

Like, really ew.

He bangs his head against the desk he’s sitting at, and then does it twice more for good measure, as if that’ll get rid of his disgusting emotions.

_ No, no… they’re not… feelings. It’s just my insatiable urge to beat him at Duel Monsters. Yes, that’s it. _

Also he should maybe get some sleep, or more coffee. Or some work done. That would be nice. And smart. And distracting. Distractions are good.

His phone buzzes.

_ Oh god, not Pegasus. Why did I give him my number? Why am I an idiot? The smartest idiot ever, of course, but I really didn’t think that one through. _

Seto rubs his face, already exhausted and he hasn’t even read Pegasus’ text yet. 

“ _ Kaiba-boy! I have some new cards for you to animate! Perhaps you can come over and I can give you a more detailed view of them?~ Text me back, ta ta!” _

He considers sending a “this number is no longer in service” message, but swallows his annoyance (it get stuck in his throat, because Pegasus is just awful, especially combined with the rest of today’s bullshit) and actually gives a response with more than just three of his brain cells.

_ “Pegasus- _

_ Send me a file containing the cards, and I’ll get to work on it as soon as I have some spare time. Tragically, I can’t visit- I’m terrible busy with Kaiba Corp, but thanks for offering. _

_ Just kidding, I’d rather jump out of another window than see you again. Thanks for the cards though, hopefully they’re not as awful as the last ones. _

_ I hate you. _

_ Seto Kaiba.” _

There, just the right amount of both professionalism and loathing.

He smirks at his phone, and then silences it, drops it into his bag, and turns his attention to the computer in front of him. His smirk falls back to his normal expression of neutral displeasure. 4000 emails. Great.

With a long sigh, Seto pushes his bangs out of his eyes (they fall back immediately) and gets to work on opening and replying to each message. Being a CEO is rough, thank god he has billions of dollars to wipe sweat off his forehead.

-

_ “Duel me.” _

_ “Duel me.” _

_ “Duel me.” _

Seto’s sent it three times already. Yugi is such an asshole. How dare he ignore him?

And he knows Yugi’s seen it, too. 

_ “Read: 7:34pm.” _

_ “Asshole. Duel me.” _

A typing bubble shows up, then disappears, then shows up, then disappears again. Well, at least he’s  _ considering _ replying?

He tries again.  _ “It’s been almost a week since our last duel, and I’ll be busy all weekend. If you don’t duel me now, when I have precious spare time, then I will most certainly die from overworking myself. Do you want that, Yugi? Do you want my death on your hands?” _

Guilt tripping always works with Yugi.

_ “Have fun at work, idiot.” _

Okay, what the hell? Seto doesn’t reply, because Yugi’s still typing, but he’s already planning a rude message to send back. One that’s full of insults and curses and lawsuit threats.

_ “OMG sorry kaiba, other me sent that. i can’t duel rn, homework, but as soon as you have free time again i promise i’ll be there. uwu.” _

_ Fucking...uwu… Don’t you uwu me, bitch. _

_ “Don’t you uwu me, bitch. I’ll pay someone to do your stupid homework for you. I’m sending a car. Get your ass in it or I’ll hire thugs to kidnap you.” _

_ “Can’t believe u wanna see me that badly. (bats eyelashes) lov u too bb <3” _

_ “I want a new rival.” _

_ “;p u’ll never find someone as good as me.” _

_ “Is that an innuendo? Are you seducing me? Mr. Mutou, this is highly inappropriate behavior.” _

He fights the smile rising on his lips. This… this isn’t funny. He doesn’t do  _ funny _ . Yugi is stupid. Other Yugi is also stupid. Everyone is stupid.

_ “You’re the one who’s forcing me to come to your house so we can… duel…” _

Oh wow, that’s, like, totally an innuendo.

Should he… send one back?

No, that would be giving in, and then Yugi would win. But maybe if he doesn’t send one, Yugi would win? Again?

_ “Which personality am I even talking to?” _

_ “Why? Miss your boyfiend that much?” _

_ “Boyfiend.” _

_ “dont u fuckin mock me sluto kaiba” _

SLUTO KAIBA?

_ “I’m hiring a hitman.” _

_ “mmm yes daddy hit me hArDeR” _

Hey, what the fuck?

Like… what the  _ fuck _ ?

_ “Uh… yikes.” _

_ “Sorry, Aibou likes to get carried away. Fine, Kaiba, I will duel you. But you will stop bullying Yugi, understand?” _

_ “Only if you win.” _

So Other-Yugi texts like he’s writing an essay, then? Seto files that information away quickly.

_ “Yes, when I win.” _

_ “IF.” _

_ “When. I will kick your ass like I always do.” _

_ “Can you even reach that high?” _

_ “oooh burn.-yugi” _

_ “Do not make fun of Yugi, I’ve already said it.” _

_ “I wasn’t making fun of Yugi, I was making fun of you. Also, I have until the end of our duel (provided you beat me) to make fun of Yugi all I want.” _

_ “roast me Blease.-yugi” _

_ “Oh? Are you giving me permission to bully you?” _

_ “yas queen kaiba get ur fucken rage out uNF exodia obliterate me Dxxxxxx -yugi”  _

Before Seto gets the chance to type out all of his frustrations with Yugi (all the way from the stupid hair to the leather shoes), he sees the limo pull up, and leaves his office to greet Yugi at the door.

He can tell immediately which one it is, because not-Yugi looks pissed off  _ always _ .

“Yugi.” He says anyway.

The man sighs exasperatedly, “I am not-”

“You’re not Yugi, blah blah blah, ancient Egypt, blah blah magic bullshit. Go to the fucking duel arena.”

Not-Yugi opens his mouth to say something (probably angrily), but Seto puts a hand between his shoulder blades and ever-so-gently pushes him towards the elevator, and that shuts him right up.

Seto doesn’t even know why he did it. He  _ never _ touches Yugi (Except that one time when Honda dared them to hug, and he couldn’t exactly say  _ no _ to a  _ dare _ , but that’s Forbidden To Think About), so he’s kind of as shocked as Not-Yugi is. Oh well. 

They get to the elevator, and head to the lower floor in silence. Seto thinks about his strategy, reaching to pull his deck off of his belt, and then-

“DUDE DID YOU JUST  _ KISS ME _ ?”

“You started it.” Not-Yugi says simply, and leaves the elevator when the doors slide open.

Seto stands, shellshocked, and his brain has to reboot before he also exits.

“What the hell?”

“You can go first.” Yugi says, shuffling his deck.

His brain is still loading, apparently. “I- What- You- You’re not even going to say anything?”

Yugi shrugs, “You started it.”

“I did nothing of the sort.”

Yugi steps towards him, and Seto is slightly ashamed to kind-of run away, but he does it anyway, backing away from the other duelist, “Don’t touch me.”

But he just keeps advancing, and Seto reaches a wall, and his heart is too loud in his ears and-

“Cut my deck?”

“You- son of a- You  _ bitch _ .”

Yugi smirks as Seto cuts his deck with shaking hands, and struts back to his side of the arena.

“I’m gonna beat your ass.” Seto chokes out.

“Winner tops?”

He tilts his head before the words register, and then sputters in surprise, “Where is this coming from? First Yugi, now you? Stop trying to seduce me! It’s weird!”

“But you like it.” Other-Yugi nods to himself and looks at his cards.

“I do  _ not _ .” Seto protests, drawing his own hand and staring at his cards. He can’t tell which ones he’s holding. Oh, damn it, was this Yugi’s plan? To flirt with him until he’s too distracted to play right? What a dirty cheater. “Stop distracting me and duel me instead.”

“As you wish, Kaiba.” Not-Yugi says, and places Celtic Guardian in attack position. “My Celtic Guardian will penetrate your defences with his mighty sword!”

_ I thought I was going first. _

“Don’t be crass, Yugi.” Seto pretends he isn’t blushing. Oh damn, his obsession with dueling his rival really did turn into feelings, didn’t it? Fuck. “Two can play at that game. I summon Lord of D in attack mode.”

Yugi actually laughs so hard he switches personalities.

“Kaiba, I didn’t know you had a sense of humor!” Yugi giggles.

“Neither did it.” He says drily, placing a card facedown, “I end my turn.”

Yugi peers down at his cards, shrugs, switches personalities, and draws a card. He stares at the new one for a moment before sliding it into his hand. “Funny joke, Kaiba.”

“Thanks, I think?”

“Y’know, I think if you were a card, you’d be a magic card.” He smirks, and continues when Seto raises an eyebrow, “Because I’m under your spell.”

“Get the fuck out of my house.”

The smirk only grows, and Yugi plucks a card out of his hand. He holds it delicately, “Face up or face down, Kaiba?”

Seto knows his face is burning. He knows his mouth is open in shock and he knows that he looks like an idiot. But. He doesn’t care? Because this is, like, happening? Yugi is totally flirting with him. 

He feels butterflies in his stomach, and wills his body to digest them. They’re dueling, damn it! Winning first, making out against the wall later.

Oh… That would be fun, actually…

“I think you killed him, Yami.” Yugi’s high-pitched voice chirps, but his soft face immediately sharpens again, “Stop taking over, I’m dueling.”

They grumble back and forth a bit, and Seto comes back to himself. He shakes his head, trying to rid his mind of his stupid thoughts.

“Your turn.” ... _ Yami _ says.

Seto draws a card, and suddenly everything is better. His wonderful Blue Eyes,  _ and _ a nasty joke to reply with?

“I play Blue Eyes White Dragon in attack position.” He can’t stop his lips from twitching into a smirk, “Ready for my- my Burst Stream of Destruction?”

Yami lets out a snort of laughter and then they both break down into amused cackles. 

“Good one! Alright, please forgive me, but I can’t focus on this duel any longer. Can we call it a draw so I can-” Another stream of wild giggles, “I wanna-” He chokes a bit, “I wanna torment your Obelisk.”

Holy shit, this is  _ fun _ ! Sadly, however, Seto’s laughing too hard to respond. His stomach hurts, and he’s  _ literally _ never laughed this hard at  _ anything _ .

“Uh… Nisama, is this a bad time?” Mokuba calls from the elevator.

Yami waves him over, “Everything is fine, Mokuba. I was just telling your brother that he reminds me of the Millenium Puzzle, because he’s my destiny.”

“That’s fucking  _ gay _ .” Seto chokes out, still laughing at the stupid Obelisk joke. “Don’t flirt with me in front of my brother.”

“But I’m allowed to flirt with you when he’s not around? I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I hate you.”

Seto catches his breath and straightens himself. He knows he looks like a mess. His face is flushed and there’s probably tears in his eyes.

“Nisama, I don’t care that you’re gay, you know that right?” Mokuba squints at him.

“I’m not-”

“Yes you are, shut up and accept my love.” His little brother launches himself across the room and wraps his arms around Seto’s waist, “Are you and Yugi gonna date now? Because  _ finally _ , but also Isono is preparing dinner and he needs to know to make Yugi a plate too.”

“Wait, who said anything about dating? We were- dueling.” Oh, this isn’t quite as fun.

“I’m gonna go tell Isono the good news! Don’t be nasty, Nisama! Love you, see you when dinner is ready!” Mokuba squeezes Seto again, grinning and ignoring his protests, and then runs back to the elevator. “See ya, Yugi!”

“So, you’re gay?” Yami smirks at him. 

Seto glares, “ _ No _ . I don’t know where Mokuba got that from. It’s your turn, play your stupid cards so I can beat your ass with my dragon.” 

“Is that what the kids are calling it now?” Yami says, voice hardly more than a mumble. He draws a card and stares at it for a bit before placing it in his hand and directing his attention to the monsters on the field. “Celtic Guardian attacks your Lord of D.” His lips twitch, “With his long, hard weapon.”

“ _ Stop _ .” Seto says. His body tingles as he loses life points, “I can literally kill you, and nobody can do anything about it.”

“What was it Yugi said earlier? Oh yes. ‘Mmm yes daddy, hit me harder.’”

Seto doesn’t know whether it’s funny that Yami said it completely monotonously. He mostly wants to go to his room and scream into a pillow until he doesn’t remember that this happened. But fuck, he has to finish this duel and then eat dinner with the bastard.

“I end my turn.” Yami says calmly.

“I end my life.” Seto answers, drawing a card. “No more messing around, duel me for real.”

-

“Nisama!” Mokuba cheers when his brother and finally enters the kitchen, a stupid, smug Pharaoh at his side. “Isono made burgers!”

“Very nice.” Yami nods in approval and sits in the seat beside Seto. A plate slides in front of him, and he smiles at Mokuba, who’s sitting across from him, “Thank you for inviting me to have dinner with you.”

“ _ Thank you for inviting me to have dinner with you _ .” Seto mocks quietly, and he grunts when both Yami and Mokuba kick him in the shins, “Hey!”

“Don’t be mean.” Mokuba scolds.

Seto scoffs, “I’ve never done a mean thing in my entire life.”

Mokuba rolls his eyes and kicks out again, but doesn’t make contact. He starts eating, making a slight mess as all kids his age do. Seto rolls his eyes back and passes him a napkin.

“Thanks, Seto.” He says around a mouthful of food.

Seto nods and points at Yami, “Eat. You look like a stick figure.”

“Shut up, you’re eighty percent leg.” Yami retorts, picking his burger up and taking a bite.

“You’re just jealous I have legs.”

This makes Yami tilt his head in confusion, “What? I have legs.” 

He lightly kicks Seto again to prove it, and Seto’s face splits into a gleeful smirk, “Not for long.”

“NISAMA YOU CAN’T KEEP TAKING PEOPLE’S LEGS.” Mokuba yells.

“WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN.” Yami yells back, panicked.

Seto cackles madly, enjoying playfully tormenting his rival, and Mokuba laughs as well, though sounding much less insane as he does so.

“I’m just messing around, you’re probably fine.”

Seto laughs again, “Eat, Yami.” He says, “If you want to keep your limbs, you have to eat.”

“And if you want dessert.” Mokuba nods seriously.

“Yes, and if you want dessert.”

“Counter offer, you don’t take my legs and I don’t take your arms.” Yami says.

Seto raises an eyebrow, “If you can reach them, you can have them.”

Yami hisses at him. Like, actually hisses. Like a cat.

_ Uh, what the fuck? _

“Don’t yiff me.”

“What does yiff mean, Nisama?”

“Don’t look it up.” Is his answer.

The table goes mostly quiet as they actually focus on eating. Seto knows he’s a hypocrite, because he barely eats half of his food, but in his defense, the butterflies from earlier were surprisingly filling. 

“ _ You look like a stick figure _ .” Yami says as their plates are taken away.

“So does your ass.” Seto fires back.

Mokuba shrieks, kicking out and connecting with Seto’s leg again. His shins are going to be bruised tomorrow. Damn.

Yami seems deeply offended. “My ass is fantastic, shut up.”

Mokuba starts throwing balled up napkins at them, “Both of you shut up, stop talking about butts!”

Isono comes back with their dessert, which is two bowls of ice cream. Mokuba launches out of his seat and snatches a bowl with red, yellow, and blue ice cream in it. He shoves his face directly into the whipped cream sitting on top.

“It’s on your nose, Mokuba.” Seto says once his brother comes up for air.

“I love Superman.” Mokuba answers.

Isono sets the second bowl, plain vanilla, in front of Seto, and turns to Yami. “Master Yugi, I was uncertain of what flavour to bring for you. Do you have a preference?”

Seto raises an eyebrow. Ooh, information.

Yami turns pink, “I’ve, uh… never had ice cream before, so…”

“Surprise him, then.” Seto decides with a nod. The servant bows and leaves to go get Yami’s dessert, and Seto pushes his bowl towards his rival, “Try it, to see if you even like it.”

“Are you  _ sharing _ with me?” Yami clutches his chest in mock surprise, “The world is ending, surely.”

“Get out of my house.”

Mokuba makes a dying animal noise, and the two older boys turn to see his face completely covered in ice cream, “I tried to breathe it in.” He explains.

“Jesus christ.” Seto pinches the bridge of his nose, “Every time, Mokuba.”

“Does he do this often?” Yami questions softly.

“I got banned from ice cream for six months, once.” Mokuba says.

Seto sighs deeply. His brother is normally a fantastic kid, but when it comes to ice cream? Well, he’s a damn crackhead.

“Go shower and get ready for bed.”

Mokuba nods, grinning, “Okay, Nisama, but I can’t promise I’ll actually sleep.” He chirps, and then runs from the table.

“So, back to my ass.” Yami begins, tasting a small spoonful of Seto’s ice cream, “Oh hey, this is good!”

Seto grunts, ignoring the  _ Your ass is good? _ his brain wants to say. Instead he rests his chin on his hand and watches Yami eat with what he hopes is a disinterested expression on his face.

Isono returns with a bowl of green tea ice cream, raises his eyebrow at the empty bowl in front of Yami, and sets the second one down without a word. He quickly leaves the room, taking the dirty dishes with him.

“Shit, sorry. I totally stole your dessert.” Yami blushes, “You can have this one…”

“I wasn’t going to eat it, anyway.” Seto shrugs. “Eat.”

Yami tilts his head, “I don’t want to be greedy…”

Seto lets out a bark of laughter, “If you’re worried about being greedy, you’re not being greedy. Eat.”

Yami nods and tastes the second flavour of ice cream. He grins at Seto, “This one is good too. Better, I think.”

Seto gives him a half smile and continues staring. Is it weird, that he’s staring? It’s totally weird. But Yami doesn’t seem to mind, so its fine, right? 

Or maybe he just hadn’t noticed, because he looks up from the bowl and catches Seto watching and freezes like a deer in headlights, spoon sticking out of his mouth. His narrow eyes grow slightly wider, and he stays still for a moment before quickly removing the spoon.

“What? Is there something on my face?” Yami pats his face with a napkin.

_ Oh fuck, this is my chance _ . Seto thinks, and then cringes in his head, because he’s acting like a  _ normal _ teenager, and if he’s anything, it’s not fucking that. Oh well.

“Yeah, I’ll get it.” His mouth says, against his will, and he leans forward, also against his will, to kiss Yami straight on the mouth. “There. All clean.” He licks the taste of ice cream from his own lips and leans back, smirking as Yami’s eyes grow bigger than Yugi’s.

_ Well, that was something _ .

“Holy shit.” Yami whispers, his entire face flushing red, “Holy shit holy shit.”

“Holy shit.” Seto agrees.

Yami says it one more time, “Holy shit,” and then Yugi is in charge. He squeals and covers his face, “Bro you totally just kissed Yami that’s  _ wack _ .”

“Sure is.”

“Yami get back here.” Yugi squeaks, and then his face goes slightly blank.

Seto frowns at this, but it doesn’t take long for Yami to reappear, looking harassed. He won’t meet Seto’s gaze, which is… nerve-wracking and disappointing because damn, was it that bad?

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” Seto says, “I’ll never bring it up again if you don’t.”

Yami finally meets his eyes, still red with embarrassment, “Wha-? No, it’s okay, I just…” He ducks his head again, and says, all in one breath, “I just totally have a huge crush on you and you were flirting like the whole time but normally you seem like you hate me so I’m confused as hell and also please kiss me again.”

And then Yugi shows up,  _ again _ , and Seto narrows his eyes in annoyance. He doesn’t want to kiss  _ Yugi _ . He wants to kiss  _ Other-Yugi. _ (Also, how did he go so long calling him that? Would it not have been better to just ask for his damn name?)

Yugi whispers angrily for a few moments before Yami reappears, “Aibou says I’m not allowed to give him the body anymore.” He pouts.

“Good, I don’t want to accidentally end up kissing him.”

Yami scrunches his face (oh god that’s so cute what the  _ fuck _ ), “How would that even happen?”

“You’re so fucking dumb.” Seto says, and then leans over to kiss Yami again, longer this time.

When Seto moves away, it’s silent. They stare at each other for a few moments. And then a few more moments.

“Holy shit?” Yami offers, breaking the quiet.

Seto nods slowly, “Yeah. Definitely.”

_ Oh god his smile I’m such a fucking idiot he’s so pretty holy  _ shit _. _

He reaches out and takes Yami’s hand gently in his own, stares at it for a bit, then lets go. Heat crawls up his neck and face until he’s sure that he’s bright red, but it’s okay because Yami seems to be in the exact same predicament.

“So…”

“Yeah…”

_ Fuck! Stop acting like an idiot! You’re Seto Fucking Kaiba. Get it together. _

Seto shakes his head, pushing away his embarrassment (When he’s in bed and desperately needs to sleep, it’ll come back to torment him, but that’s Future Seto’s problem.) and rises from his seat, “I’ll drive you home. I’m sure your grandfather is worried.”

“Ah, right.” Yami nods, standing as well, “Thank you, for dinner and… For… Uh…” He looks at his shoes (Who the FUCK wears LEATHER SHOES? Seto has to buy him a new wardrobe, this is unacceptable.) and scuffs one against the tile floor, “Thanks for, y’know, liking me, and stuff. I guess.”

Seto grunts, not sure how to answer. Is that something people normally thank each other for? Is he supposed to say thanks, too? He doesn’t know.

Instead of answering, he takes Yami’s hand again (Oh god, it’s so soft, he might die.) and leads him towards the front door, mumbling into a comm on his collar as they go. 

A driver is waiting for them at the porch, but Seto waves him away, opting to open Yami’s door like the gentleman that he is. He slides into the limo beside his rival, still holding him, and prays that his hand isn’t sweating. 

As they drive, Yami leans over and kisses him again, and he reciprocates as best he can while his brain shuts down due to experiencing happiness for the first time. 

When Seto’s brain reboots, it goes into overdrive, unable to handle all of his thoughts, which mostly just consist of ‘Holy shit.’ and ‘Oh my god.’ 

_ I should have asked the driver to take the long route _ .

They part, and Seto stares at Yami’s face, too close to his own. Damn, okay, maybe he’s had a crush on his rival for way longer than since yesterday afternoon, because the butterflies are back (Will they never leave? He doesn’t even like butterflies!) and the lights outside are reflecting off of Yami’s red-violet eyes and his breath tastes like ice cream and everything is  _ amazing _ and-

“Master Kaiba, we’ve arriv- Oh- Um.” 

The driver looks at them for a whole second before he slides the window separating the front and back of the car closed. It’s a second too long, and Seto moves away quickly, really  _ really _ wishing they’d gone the long way. That was way too fast! Damn it.

He gets out of the car and holds the the door for Yami again, and Yami looks equally dazzled by tonight. 

_ Jeez, his eyes are so pretty _ . 

They’re still holding hands, and Seto kind of never wants to let go, but he still walks Yami to the side door and releases him. More staring happens, and he has half a mind to just drag his rival back to the car and keep him forever, but he can’t do that. He’ll get arrested. And also morals, or whatever.

“So… uh… text me?” Seto says, and cringes internally because  _ WOW, THAT WAS SO FUCKING DUMB. _

But Yami laughs and nods, taking Seto’s hand and squeezing it for a second. He rises on his toes, kisses Seto’s cheek, and then disappears into the building. 

Seto can see him leaning against the door on the other side, and smiles to himself because apparently he makes Yami as breathless as Yami makes him. 

  
  
  



End file.
